Because Jim Asked Me To....


My friend and blog host Jim was a very ugly baby. Jim is who introduced me to my evil ex Adam (which I don't hold against Jim, because he did warn me not to date this guy) who, according to Adam's mother, was also a very ugly baby--but we'll never know HOW ugly, because Adam was unwilling to produce any sort of evidence as to just how horrible he looked as a wee sprog. Actually, it wasn't just that he was unwilling to show anyone his baby pictures; he was unable to do something that risky, because he lacked A) a sense of humor and B) plain old chutzpah as well as C) genuine confidence in his adult good looks. (Though in his own unpleasant, insecure way he was very vain and was always telling me how good looking he was, as if I couldn't see for myself that he was a handsome guy, aside from his CRAZY eyebrows--they were like rodents nesting on his face--and the fact that the rhinoplasty he got after college left his nose just a tad too delicate to match the rest of his profile--it wasn't as bad as Michael Jackson, but you get the idea.)

Jim, on the other hand, had a sense of humor and chutzpah and a thorough awareness of how devastatingly attractive women found him. (I was no exception.) Having outgrown his infantile repulsiveness and turned into quite the handsome dude, he positively gloried in having once been so very, very hideous. He'd show his baby picture to anyone. It's easy to see where he got the attitude; his mom likewise gloried in having given birth to such an ugly child. When I met her, she cackled in delight as she told me how people would withdraw in embarrassed confusion when they saw him in his stroller. (I never met Adam's mom, by the way; I know from Jim that she would simply state, with a matter-of-factness that mortified Adam, how ugly he was as a baby.)

But it seems that other once-ugly children are trying to wrest Jim's position as ugliest baby away from him. He asks, therefore, that you go to this photo of the world's ugliest baby on flickr and add it to your favorites, and then add a link to his entry in which he declares himself the world's ugliest baby.

Seriously. Jim deserves the title, and we must help him keep it.


Jim's baby ugliness indeed surpasses the one offered on that website; that's a bad picture, not an ugly baby.

What is it about Adams? I made that mistake once, too (different Adam, same mistake).

He's dark and plump. That's ugly? I think not.

Hi Juti--"Adam" is not the name the guy went by; that was his middle name. He actually had three first names, and he hated the first name that was his last name, because he got it from his dad, and he despised his father. He was always threatening to change his name; I don't know what he goes by now.

Hattie--Gee! Thanks ever so much for showing up and peremptorily correcting the opinion of me, Jim and his mom. What would we do without you to set us straight? I'll let him know that you've decreed that he's not ugly, and that he can stop claiming that he was.

Bueller........Bueller......You still out there somewhere?

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This page contains a single entry by Holly published on April 3, 2008 12:16 AM.

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