A silly meme I've seen around the blogosphere and decided to answer myself.
1) Who is the last person you high-fived?
My colleague, Dr. Sweet Baby Jesus, a few weeks ago, by the copy machine.
2) If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
No. And then I'd be reincarnated as an English professor who is obsessed with war literature.
3) Do you sleep with the TV on?
I don't do much of anything with the TV on. And I don't like any noise while I sleep.
4) Have you ever drunk milk straight out of the carton?
Who hasn't?
5) Have you ever won a spelling bee?
No, but I came close. And the trauma I suffered in losing is probably one reason I became an English professor and dedicated a large portion of my life to marking misspelled words in the writing of young adults.
6) Have you ever been stung by a bee?
Not that I remember.
7) How fast can you type?
80 or 90 words a minute.
8) Are you afraid of the dark?
Nope. I dig it.
9) What color are your eyes?
Blue, about the shade of broken-in Levi's.
10) Have you ever made out at a drive-in?
Nope.
11) When is the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
Last night.
12) Do you knock on wood?
Not generally.
13) Do you floss daily?
Every night.
15) Can you hula hoop?
No, but I can hula. I had real hula lessons, in Hawaii. I can belly dance too. My hips are one of the most impressive parts of me.
16) Are you good at keeping secrets?
I'll never tell.
17) What do you want for Christmas?
Cash.
18) Do you know the Muffin Man?
No, but I am intimately acquainted with the Cookie Monster.
19) Do you talk in your sleep?
No.
20) Who wrote the book of love?
Oh! I know this one! I know it thanks to Robyn Hitchcock and the song "Freeze" off the totally awesome album Queen Elvis:
I know who wrote the book of love!
It was an idiot!
It was a fool!
It was a slobbering fool with a speak defect and a shaking hand.
And he wrote my name
Next to yours
But it should have been David Byrne or somebody
21) Have you ever flown a kite?
Yes, but not well.
22) Do you wish on your fallen lashes?
No.
23) Do you consider yourself successful?
I guess. Just not as successful as I want to be.
24) How many people are on your contact list of your cell?
What's a contact list?
25) Have you ever asked for a pony?
Good god, no. My grandfather was a cowboy and I regularly rode horses when we visited him. I knew how much horses ate and pooped, and how easily they could step on you. Why would I want a pony?
26) Plans for tomorrow?
Wash my hair. Do some laundry. Pick up a visiting writer at the airport. Attend his reading. Go to dinner. Think about how much I wish I didn't have to teach on Friday.
27) Can you juggle?
No.
28) Missing someone now?
I've traveled around so much and left so many places behind that I don't very often miss anyone, even people I love very, very much.
29) When was the last time you told someone I Love You?
Sunday.
30) And truly meant it?
Sunday.
31) How often do you drink?
Depends on what's going on.
32) How are you feeling today?
Not so great. I was awakened from a sound sleep by a phone call at 2:30 a.m. and it was of course a wrong number. I hate when that happens! Then I couldn't go back to sleep until I had a antihistamine and a shot of vodka. I got six more hours of sleep after that, but I feel a bit hungover, as you'd expect. Plus the weather is all gray today. However, I am cheered by my plans to wear these really cool dark green, men's wear Oxfords today with striped knee socks and a skirt.
33) What do you say too much?
I've been told I say, "I don't know" too much, but I think it's good to admit one's basic ignorance.
34) Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
No.
35) What are you looking forward to?
The end of the semester.
36) Have you ever crawled through a window?
I doub it.
37) Have you ever eaten dog food?
No.
38) Can you handle the truth?
I can handle the truth much better than being lied to.
39) Do you like green eggs and ham?
This reminds me of moldy leftovers I found in my mother's refrigerator.... No. I do not like green eggs and ham.
40) Any cool scars?
I have a totally cool scar: the incision at the bottom of my abdomen from exploratory surgery done when I was 14. I'm very fond of the scar, for some reason, even though I resent the surgery, which was totally unnecessary. But I like the way the thin, straight scar complicates the landscape of my body.
No one comments on my scars, so I don't think they qualify as cool. I have twin scars on my abdomen from hernia repair surgery I had when I was an infant but they are hard to see. I have a decent scar on the back of my right knee from three knee surgeries to remove a recurring cyst -- all done before I was five. I have a very slight scar in the middle of my forehead where I split it open at a birthday party when I was seven. My nose is not my nose: I shattered it when I fell jumping around in a car parked in a graveyard when I was five and I got plastic surgery to repair it. Maybe my cool scars are the invisible ones.
Spike wrote, "I have a very slight scar in the middle of my forehead where I split it open at a birthday party when I was seven."
I've never noticed this scar on your forehead, Spike. Next time I see you, you'll have to point it out.
“I'd be reincarnated as an English professor who is obsessed with war literature.”
Ha, love this answer!
”about the shade of broken-in Levi's.”
Cool description (and color).
”However, I am cheered by my plans to wear these really cool dark green, men's wear Oxfords today with striped knee socks and a skirt.”
Ah, great plan!
”But I like the way the thin, straight scar complicates the landscape of my body.”
You’re such an artist!
You’re such an artist!
Thanks, Frankengirl!
1) Who is the last person you high-fived?
My colleague, Dr. Holly, a few weeks ago, by the copy machine.
40) Any cool scars?
I have a scar on my right cheek. It would look very tough if it was a bit more pronounced--very Inigo Montoya a la the Princess Bride. Mine was given to me, however, by a guinea pig named Snowball. Here is the story.
My nursery school had two guinea pigs: Snowball and Cinnamon. (Guess which one had white fur and which one had brown.) Before one winter vacation there was a contest to see which student would get to take them home for the break. The teacher asked us to guess a number between 1 and 25. The number 5 flashed through my four year old mind with an unsettling certainty. It was the first of two times in my life that led me to worry that there might be such a thing as ESP.
Sure enough, the number was 5, and I got to take home Snowball and Cinnamon for the break. One day over the break I took Snowball out of his cage. I was snuggling him up against my face and wanted my mother to witness how much he loved me. So I shouted to her to come look at Snowball snuggling with me. Snowball, however, had intimacy issues and completely flipped out, tearing open a hole in my cheek with his little claws. My mother took me to the emergency room where the doctors stitched up my cheek.
But here is the strange part. I remember sitting in the hospital, looking at my stitches in a mirror and swearing to myself "One day, Snowball will pay!" That May the nursery school burned to the ground. Cinnamon was found, I kid you not, hiding under a forsythia bush in the park in front of the school. But Snowball was lost in the fire. It was the second of the two times in my life which I found myself worrying about whether I possessed psychic powers.
Which leads me to propose the following as an additional question for your meme:
41) Have you ever suspected that you have psychic powers?
I don't believe in things like ESP or telekinesis. However, I did once worry that I killed a guinea pig using pyrokinesis.
- Sweet Baby Jesus
PS Sorry, Holly, that I never got around to posting that defense of Prime.....
That's OK, SBJ--I much prefer the "Snowball had intimacy issues" story you posted instead.