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March 6, 2006
The 78th Annual Academy Awards
Six or seven years ago, I asked one of my teachers in grad school if he intended to watch the Oscars. He rolled his eyes in a fabulous gesture of contempt and wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Hardly," he said. "No one in the movie industry would watch an award ceremony about books. I see no reason to support Hollywood's masturbatory ritual of self-aggrandizement."
I could sort of see his point, but the fact of the matter is, I like movies, I like witty acceptance speeches, I like pretty dresses, and I like the Oscars.
I don't mess with other award shows; I tried watching the BAFTAs once but there was too much about stuff I didn't know or care about (though I should point out that this year the British Academy of Film and Television Arts knew better than to nominate Keira Knightley for her dreadful performance as Elizabeth Bennet) and the Golden Globes are just too clearly the imitator for me to get worked up about them. I stick with the Oscars.
I admit I almost didn't watch the Oscars this year; I forgot that my neighbor fixed my TV antenna while he was cat sitting over Christmas break and that I now get ABC. I'm glad I remembered before 8 p.m. last night: I felt this year's ceremony was pretty much worth all three and a half hours I invested in it. I thought Jon Stewart did a perfectly respectable job as host; I hope they have him back again. I especially liked the repeated invocation of film as the art of storytelling, and I was pleased when Larry McMurtry reminded everyone that we need to preserve the culture of the book.
Here are some of my own awards:
Best Acceptance Speech by a Guy: George Clooney, for Best Supporting Actor. I've never actually thought he was all that sexy--not that I found him gross or anything; he just wasn't my type--but last night's funny, thoughtful speech helped me understand his appeal.
Best Acceptance Speech by a Woman: Reese Witherspoon, for Best Actress. I liked what she had to say about June Carter Cash and "trying to matter." I finally figured out part of why I like her so much: she reminds me of my youngest sister. They have similar faces, similar voices, similar mannerisms. I think Reese is a fabulous actress but often shows appalling taste and makes dreadful choices in movies: I consider her more talented than Renee Zellweger, but she too often wastes her time and talents on schlock like Sweet Home Alabama and Legally Blonde II. I haven't seen Walk the Line yet, and I've been told it's not THAT great of a performance, but at least it ain't Just Like Heaven (which I refuse to see despite its being named for a Cure song).
Best Introduction of an Award: Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin. I pretty much loathe Robert Altman but it was worth having to watch the montage of his crappy films in order to see Meryl and Lily rif on his movies and what he tries to do in them.
Best Montage: the juxtaposition of real-life individuals with the actors who portrayed them on film. I really love Pride of the Yankees, and when the montage cut from Gary Cooper to the real Lou Gehrig giving the famous speech in which he declares himself one of the luckiest men on earth, I teared right up.
Hottest Movie Star: Uma Thurman. Fabulous dress, fabulous hair, fabulous makeup, fabulous human being. She looked totally hot AND graceful AND classy AND she better win an Oscar one of these days.
Scariest Movie Star: John Travolta. He has the strangest looking head. How do we know he's not really an alien?
Best Use of a Foreign Language: Ang Lee, accepting the award for Best Director, for his bit of Mandarin at the end. I was charmed by his acceptance speech. Sye sye, da jya, indeed! Gungsyi to you as well, Mr. Lee!
Movie I Most Want to See Now Despite Previously Never Having Heard of It: Tsotsi, winner of Best Foreign Language Film, from South Africa. I liked the director's acceptance speech. (To those of you who've seen not only this movie but the other foreign language nominees, what can I say: I live in a backwater these days and don't see many foreign films.)
Biggest "What the Fuck" Moment: "It's Hard out Here for a Pimp," Best Song. By all means, let's celebrate an extended whine about how hard life is for men who exploit women instead of suggesting that they NOT exploit women. (Please see Frankengirl's version, It's Hard out Here for a Non-Pimp.
Best Performance I Probably Still Don't Want to Watch: the clips of Phillip Seymour Hoffman's performance as Capote did make it seem like he earned the award, but it also made it seem like Capote is a really annoying movie to sit through.
Ugliest Dress: Charlize's, maybe. There were plenty.
Most Appreciated Absence: Thank god Gwyneth Paltrow didn't profane the stage.
Biggest Disappointment: Brokeback Mountain loses to Crash.
See also the analysis provided here by Saviour Onassis, and here and here by Jim.
Posted by holly at March 6, 2006 10:32 AM
Hey Holly, I watched the Brit Music awards the other day and was really impressed by them. By the way, regarding Reese's movie choices - did you ever see the Legally Blonde movies? I love those movies. I also gave the DVDs to my dad (a lawyer, like your dad) and he LOVED them. I think they're now his favorite movies, next to - I think - Steve McQueen's Bullit.
See you!!!
I liked the first "Legally Blonde" movie quite a bit--I liked that Reese's character was actually a decent person, and I liked how the hapless victim emerged as the hapless victor--but I found the second one unwatchable, and couldn't even get through it.
How was skiing, by the way? Are you going to tell us all about it on your blog?
Charlize must definitely be awarded WORST DRESSED simply because she is one of the most beautiful, talented actresses we have and with that body, there is NO excuse for shoulder bows! Like Gwyneth, Charlize went for the "ugly prom dress" look and should be ignored. Wallflower her, I tell you!
Yes, romantic Uma was stunning. And as always, Nicole Kidman was a knockout.
After sleeping on it, I still feel ripped off about Brokeback not getting the Best Picture nod. If Hollywood isn't ready to grant mainstream approval to homosexual love, who is? And don't give me that Capote crap. The dude was creepy.
Also, the transgender community has a lot to be upset about too. John Travolta will dig into his drag closet for the remake of "Hairspray" next year. Hooray for Hollywood, right?
SO, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to call you on one little item.
"If Hollywood isn't ready to grant mainstream approval to homosexual love, who is?"
Wait, dude - is that all these awards are? Just an affirmation of the film's ideology?
I mean, don't get me wrong - I know these awards are bullshit and everything - but I think they at least purport to be an acknowledgement of the film's artistry, not it's message.
Anyway - don't get mad at me. It's not a big deal. I just thought I'd squak about that one point.
Cheers!
Man, pimps shouldn't have to pay rent! What's wrong with America? Don't they know they can get free room and board in jail?
Reese,
I agree with you that the Academy Awards are given to films for their artistry and not the underlying politics. That IS precisely why I feel like Brokeback should have won over Crash. BOTH films have strong messages and yet one film was granted the "Best Picture" seal of approval by Hollywood's elite. I live in Los Angeles and work in the industry and I know from first hand experience that this is one of the most homophobic industries in the world. Sure it's okay to be gay, but the truth is - if you are out about it, it severly limits your options.
My take on the "Brokeback Backlash" is that the film portrayed a kind of gay relationship that touched nerves. This wasn't a little coming out movie about a kid dealing with his sexuality. (There are literally dozens of these.) This was a movie about grown men, married men, fathers who carry on a life long affair, in the closet, like most of gay Hollywood. Hoffman won for Capote, true. But that character did not pose the "threat" that Jack and Ennis do.
Maybe America is just not ready. Hollywood kept tooting its horn about how they are the shapers of American ideology, over and over again, during the show. But at the end of the night, they said..."I don't think so...."
My parents refuse to see Brokeback. I was hoping that it would win so I could say: "See, it won Best Picture! Don't you think it's worth a look?" Maybe the Awards really don't mean anything but I feel like it would have made a difference. It is just a slap in the face. Best Screenplay, Best Director and Best Original Score should add up to equal Best Picture, but it didn't. Crash ends with a joke. And the joke is on us.
Not mad, by the way. Just tenacious.
Love,
SO
Holly!
When did you start cursing on your blog?
RIP Little Asterisk...
F*ck.
Hey Saviour,
Points taken. Thank you.
Hey Y'all--
I just watched "Crash" and I HATED IT. What a load of pompous, pretentious, pedantic, melodramatic, manipulative, moralistic CRAP. All these characters do all these awful, weird things, but you don't know if the actions are out of character or not because you don't really get to know the characters in any depth. Then, some of them emerge from this horrible set of circumstances older and wiser if not at all unscathed, but you don't know what the events mean to them because you didn't get to know them very well in the first place.
ICK!
If I actually expected anything from the Academy, I'd be really disappointed, but this is, after all, the group that also named "Dances With Wolves," "Forrest Gump" and "Titanic" best picture as well. This movie is solidly in the same camp as those.