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February 13, 2006
Significant Seven
Amazon.com has a list of seven "significant" questions that it likes to ask its favorite authors. Saviour Onassis asked Bored Dominatrix (my leather-wearing alter-ego--she's still me, just sassier) these questions over on Genius to Spare, and I thought I'd answer them here as well. (Because I'm still her, just more discreet.)
Q: What book has had the most significant impact on your life?
A: Probably Winnie the Pooh, since it's the first book I liked enough to want to read it myself. (It's also the book that explained my father's psychological state to me: he's Eeyore.) Tied for second place is, I don't know, maybe Pride and Prejudice, because it made me want to write, and A History of God by Karen Armstrong, since it reassured me that I'm by no means the only one to figure out that the bearded old white guy in the sky is one mean son of a bitch.
Q: You are stranded on a desert island with only one book, one CD, and one DVD--what are they?
A: I'm stranded on a desert island equipped with a functioning CD player, a DVD player and a TV? COOL! I hope there's a decent shower with plenty of hot water too....
Q: Ahem. Suspend your disbelief. Play along. Answer the freakin' question.
A: Book: An empty notebook. CD: Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd. It's not my favorite album in the world, but it expresses what would probably be my main sentiment. DVD: How to Build a Boat out of Coconut Trees and Escape from a Desert Island.
Q: What is the worst lie you've ever told?
A: The Mormon Church is true. (See Mission archives.)
Q: Describe the perfect writing environment.
A: A great big room with wood floors and lots of windows. There's a computer AND a typewriter, and a couple of well-stocked bookshelves. There is not, however, a phone. (Note: I wrote my dissertation in a room just like this. That's how I know what I'm talking about.)
Q: If you could write your own epitaph, what would it say?
A: Here lies Holly, by golly.
Q: Who is the one person living or dead that you would like to have dinner with?
A: God, Jehovah, the Ancient of Days--whatever you want to call the old bastard. That MF has some SERIOUS ‘splaining to do. I wouldn't back off, either, like Job did, when God started in on his "where were you when I did this and this" routine. AND I'd expect him to pick up the tab.
Q: If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
A: Telepathy. And the mind I'd most want to read would be God's. Who wouldn't want to know the mind of God?
Posted by holly at February 13, 2006 12:16 AM
Love the epitaph, by golly. And your desert island DVD selection, very funny! If you ever DO read God's mind, please write a transcription for the rest of us. :)
Hi Frankengirl. Isn't EVERY book a transcription of God's mind? (please extract meaning from this statement at your discernement) BTW, Frankengirl - I checked out your blog. Cool bananas, baby.
Holly, the joke about the "how to turn coconut trees into a raft" book is a great joke! WOW, you could write for The Simpsons with your wit (not being sarcastic here).
See you guys!!
You are so funny! Where do you think you and God would go for dinner?
I'm hoping he would take me out for really good Mexican food, and let me have all the margaritas I wanted, and call me a cab if I wasn't fit to drive at the end of the night.
My grandmother loved going out to dinner, and at the end of (almost) every meal she'd say, "The food was good, but the company was better." For a while when I was in college I was the only grandchild who lived in the same city she did (Tucson), and I went to dinner with her a lot. One time, however, we had a disagreement. I tried to gloss over things as the meal ended, and asked, "Aren't you going to say that thing, Grandma, about how 'the food was good, but the company was better'?"
And she said, "This time, it wasn't."
I wonder if my dinner with God would be like that.
I borrowed the idea of reading God's mind from Einstein, by the way. Someone asked him how he came up with his various theories and what he was trying to accomplish. He replied, "I just wanted to know the mind of the old one. The rest is a detail."
I LOVE that statement--and I love that concept of God, that he's not necessarily the universe's most powerful or benevolent inhabitant, just its oldest one.