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November 7, 2005
I Don't Take Candy from Children, But I Also Don't Hand it Out
I confess: I've never been visited by the spirit of the Great Pumpkin. I've written here and here about various Halloween costumes I've worn, but I admit that dressing up is the only part of the holiday I care for. The whole ghosts and goblins thing doesn't appeal to me: I have never enjoyed being frightened out of my wits, and I don't see the entertainment value of skeletons, corpses and ugly witches. Nor can I see the point in wasting a perfectly good pumpkin by carving a design in it, inserting a lit candle, and putting it outside where it will attract bugs and fractious adolescent boys.
Then there's the whole trick-or-treat business. I have a highly developed, demanding and discriminating sweet tooth, and most of the candy handed out on Halloween does not meet my standards. With the possible exception of the Easter candy Peeps, I don't think a more disgusting candy exists than that vile candy corn. I remember seeing someone once who had painted her nails to resemble that candy corn; that's what the candy reminds me of now--it tastes like I imagine sweetened nail clippings would. I do not particularly care for peanuts or peanut butter, so I am not fond of Snickers or Reese's Cups, and I HATE peanut M&M's. I like hard candy in small and occasional doses. I can be happy eating a KitKat or plain M&M's or any flavor of Skittles, but what I really like is gourmet dark chocolate. Unfortunately, not many people hand out Godiva Truffles on Halloween.
I am sure you are saying: Holly, you are TOO OLD to go trick-or-treating--this holiday is not about what YOU like! Well, OK, but I used to go trick-or-treating, and I was often disappointed by the candy I got as a child. And even now, I have to BUY the damn candy, and I'm not going to buy candy I don't like--what if I end up with leftovers? And it's freakin' expensive to buy all that candy! I rather like the idea of being generous to other people's children, but I'm not sure doling out lollipops to anonymous wee ones is the best way to do it. I'd rather sign up to buy Christmas gifts for an underprivileged child--now there's a holiday and a practice I understand.
All of which is to say, a mere day or two before Halloween I still had not found the time or wherewithall to buy any candy or drape any part of my home in cobwebs or orange and black streamers. I was thinking about turning off the lights in the front of my house and hiding out in the back bedroom all evening so that I would not have to open my door to a steady stream of diminutive Disney princesses and Harry Potter look-alikes, when a friend said to me, "Want to see a movie Monday night so we don't have to deal with trick-or-treaters?"
What a glorious idea! We went to the 5:30 showing of Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (which I heartily recommend). The cineplex was nearly deserted, which is precisely how I like my cineplexes. Then we got dinner; then we went home. I was back in my house between 8:30 and 9 p.m. and at that point the kiddies were back home as well, sitting on their beds in their costumes, exulting over their hoards of candy plundered under threat of malfeasance from obliging adults, completely jacked up on sugar and crying because they didn't want to put on their pajamas and have their faces scrubbed free of makeup. But I didn't have to deal with any of that!
So now I know what I'm going to do every Halloween. I can't think of a better time to see a movie. As for staying home, opening my door to short strangers and handing out candy? I'd rather indulge in my own little trick, my own little treat.
Posted by holly at November 7, 2005 7:47 AM
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