I'm a poet / essayist / memoirist/
journalist (in the sense of keeping a journal, not of working for a newspaper) and it occurred to me that a blog fits in with all that. If Montaigne, father of the essay, were alive today, he'd keep a blog. This is my self-portrait as frustrated artist who can't believe she's not famous yet. (And because it's part of my artistic endeavor, the whole damn thing is copyrighted. All rights reserved.)
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« One of the Boys | Home | I Love Needles »

August 19, 2005

Out with the Guys

Last night was one of those nights I go hang out with the guys and talk about writing. Sweet Baby Jesus was there (the tattoo on his arm looks so fabulous! I promise I will get around to writing about that soon), as was Tom, as well as a guy I'll call Lemonhead, because he told me that's his nickname, and another guy I'll call the Monk, because he said he is one. The weather was pleasant, so we sat on the patio of a bar where the drink special was "anything Stoli for two bucks," and I had no problem sucking down four cranberry stolis and one stoli & tonic.

We are all writers, so we workshop our stuff. SBJ and Lemonhead had some really great poems up, the Monk gave us a very poetic short story, and I submitted an essay about menstrual problems I had as a fifteen-year-old anorexic recovering from a bizarre and traumatic illness. The piece is actually kind of funny and I like it as well as anything I've written in a while, but I was still worried the guys might be freaked out by the subject matter. I shouldn't have worried. They gave me really smart suggestions for improving the piece, and didn't seem a bit weirded out that they now know all kinds of details about my menstrual cycle. They also claimed to be grateful for a little clarification about what happens in a gynecologist's office.

It was a fun evening, and we even talked about yesterday's blog entry, and my ambivalence about being "one of the guys." They protested that I could hardly be considered that, and pointed out that I don't look anything like a guy. I admit, on these evenings, I make sure I look better than I do when I go to the grocery store, when I'm content to throw on some old skirt and top and put my hair in a pony tail. No, I dress up: partly because I like dressing up, partly because I want to reinforce my own sense of my femaleness. I wear a dress I like, lots of jewelry, do something with my hair. Last night I was able to wear a dress I haven't been able to fit into for the past three years: this strange malaise I've been in since I got home from Sunstone has made it really hard for me to eat, and I've lost ten pounds in two weeks. The dress must have looked OK, because I noticed that I turned a few heads. That's always nice.

Anyway, I feel better about spending so much of my time with men. And if I'm going to be one of the guys, I'm pretty lucky that this is the group of guys I get to be one of.

Posted by holly at August 19, 2005 12:16 AM

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